My Pathetic Display

I thought I would see John tonight.  I mean, I didn't really have a reason to think that I would, but I hoped.  And that was just stupid.  But you know what was even stupider?  I got dressed up for him.  Sort of.  I was still working work clothes, but I did my hair and make-up much nicer than what I would normally do for working in a factory.  It was so pathetic.  What was I thinking?  That he would see me all dolled up and say, "My God!  You're so beautiful!  I must have you now!"  Part of me would like that, of course.

It's so sad.  I can't believe what a spectacle I made of myself.  Who does this?  I kept looking for him when I got there and my heart would skip a beat when I saw someone who kind of looked like him.  I guess I'm in high school again.

I was talking to another lady that I always see there and she told me that her husband was laid off this week.  No notice.  No warning.  Comes in that morning and is gone less than two hours later.  She works, but doesn't make a lot of money and they have some debt so things are already tight. While we work, she's pouring out her heart about how hard things are and do you know what I'm thinking, "Where is John?!?"

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - I'm an awful person.

On a Totally Different Note

I go to a really nice gym.  I love it.  I used to belong to a cheap-o gym and I hated it.  Planet Fitness, I'm looking at you.  Sure it's only 10 bucks a month, but you're seriously only getting your money's worth.  It always felt gross.  And muggy.  So I eventually switched to a much nicer gym.  It's one of those gyms that a lot of young professionals go to so it's crazy busy before work, lunch time and in the early evenings.  But I always go mid-morning and it's pretty quiet.  And I love that.  Some older folks and then a few other ladies with a random guy every once in a while.  The locker room is generally empty, which means I don't have to hide in a corner while I change or avert my eyes when someone decides they're going to strip down in front of me.

So let's talk about what happened in the locker room last week.  I'm sitting on a bench when a 65 year old lady comes over and immediately starts stripping out of her work clothes into her gym stuff.  And all of a sudden I have her butt right next to my face ... and she's rocking a black lace thong.  But it gets better - she's got a tattoo.  What was at one point a very lovely black flower is now a bit misshapen and faded ... and it's 6 inches from my face.  Seriously? To be fair, she's in pretty good shape, so maybe she feels like she wants to rock it since she's still got it (for her age).  So uncomfortable.  I thought I had lived through the worst in the locker room.  Until today.

The showers are located in the front and are fairly private.  Three walls are floor to ceiling tile and the door is a frosted glass that goes to the floor.  I mean, you can still see a lot, but it's a bit fuzzy and gives the illusion of privacy.  Plus they are kind of tucked around a corner so they aren't all out in the open.  And at the time of day when I go there is usually no one else ever showering at the same time.  So it never bothers me.  

But today I'm showering and doing my thing and enjoying the fact that I'm having a nice warm, uninterrupted shower (a feat for any mom of young children), when I turn to face the door and see someone standing right outside the door!! As soon as I turn around she (I'm pretty sure it was a she from the build, but it's hard to tell from the fuzziness and the fact that I had a towel over the door blocking some of it) walks away.  I about had a heart attack.  Are you kidding me?!  What's up with that? 

So after the initial shock, I started to get mad.  I wanted to hurry and finish and hope they were still in the locker room so I could tell them what a crazy lunatic they were.  Or, give them a vicious evil eye as I have an inability to confront strangers.  But still.  I wanted her to know that I knew she were watching me and it was NOT ok.  But of course by the time I got out there she was gone.  Jerk. 

I'm a little creeped out.  I'm not sure what to do.  I tell you what though - if it happens again I'm going to open up that shower door and whack her in the face.  Or scream.